Naruto: Chronicles of the Horde
by Tyche's Revenge
Summary: Naruto gets a little inspiration from bedtime stories about goblins. The world had better watch out, for the horde has come!


Konoha, the village hidden in the leaves was a restful sort of place, for being a ninja village. In fact, the majority of the elemental nations saw Konoha as being the epitome of what a ninja village could be with its scenic architecture and modern conveniences.

None of this explained how a genin wearing a bright orange tracksuit managed to break into the most secure facility in Konoha and make off with the most valuable document in there. Most didn't even really think about what that could mean and were instead relieved that the document was recovered without the demon being fully unleashed on them.

For Naruto it had been a night of sheer terror and absolute elation. With everything that had happened, he was exhausted when he got home and crawled into bed. As he drifted off to sleep, he thought that the only thing that would make the day better would be to have Jiji tell one of his old stories to him. The one about the goblins was his favorite! Of course anything that loved the color orange had to be awesome...

Before he knew it Naruto had drifted off to sleep dreaming about goblins coming over the mountains in hordes of steel.

* * *

The next morning Naruto had almost forgotten about his dream, and probably would have simply gone about his business as usual, if he hadn't seen something that got his attention. A traveling merchant had set up shop in the open-air market section of the village with a weapons display. Now, Naruto normally didn't care about weapons all that much since he thought jutsu were cooler.

Today the merchant had something new: A giant two-handed battle-axe. The blade was big enough to be used as a shield for Naruto. In fact, the axe was almost the size of his body. Naruto decided to check it out for himself.

Tenaka the merchant was glad he had come to Konoha to peddle his wares. He was doing a brisk business with the shinobi here who seemed to honestly appreciate that his wares were made from fine iron. A lot of villages didn't really like to trade with foreigners since that would hurt local business. Konoha was the only major village that was both open and prosperous enough to buy from other countries artisans on a regular basis.

He was scanning his area for another customer when he saw a kid in bright orange looking at the axe in his display case. Tenaka had bought the axe in Iron country a while ago as a curiosity and art item of a sort. The axe was made out of fine steel and designed to be quite an intimidating weapon with carvings of bones and a skull decorating its handle. Unfortunately, he hadn't been able to unload the thing since it was so clearly not a ninja weapon and very recognizable, not only because of its decorations, but also because its handle had been dyed a dusky orange. As such, he had long since resigned himself to only using it as a display piece.

Naruto looked at the axe with stars in his eyes. This was an awesome weapon! The size, the intimidation, the orange! It was perfect! His thoughts on how cool he would look fighting with that were interrupted by a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey kid!" Tenaka exclaimed. "Do you like the axe?"

"Yeah!" was Naruto's enthusiastic reply. "That thing looks so cool! But I don't think I have enough to buy it." He hung his head as he thought about his current money situation.

"Hmmm, well how about we come to a deal, okay?" Tenaka smiled as the fresh-faced genin looked up with eager anticipation. He might actually get rid of the monstrous thing after all!

* * *

Naruto whistled as he walked down the hallway toward the classroom. The day was going great! He was getting his genin team today and he had gotten his Axe of Awesomeness! Sure it had cost him basically all of his saved money, but it was all his now! His good mood buoyed him along until he went into the classroom. Most didn't notice him until Shikamaru piped up, "Naruto, only genin are supposed to be here. You failed remember?"

"Nope!" Naruto grinned at the opportunity to show off, "I passed! See the headband?"

"Troublesome." Shikamaru muttered in reply.

Naruto rolled his eyes at the lazy boy's response. The guy was in detention with him a lot, but where Naruto was in because he had played a prank, Shikamaru was usually in for falling asleep. Naruto bounced up to an empty seat and tried to sit down. "Trying" because his axe stopped him cold. The holster was on his back where it would be out of the way on an adult, but on a kid like Naruto the axe hit him about mid-knee, sweeping his legs and sending him to the floor.

Naruto pulled himself to his feet grumbling about the way his own weapon had taken him out before pulling his axe off his back and laying it on the desk in front of him with a thunk. Strangely the clunk sounded loud in the normally boisterous room. Naruto looked up to see that everybody was staring at his new accessory with bulging eyes. Smirking at the sight he started tracing the designs in the handle while smiling evilly at everybody in the room.

"I get to sit next to Sasuke-kun!" The cry tore through the tension in the air as two girls struggled to get through the door at the same time. Naruto didn't really have an opinion one way or the other about Ino, but he thought that Sakura had to be the most beautiful girl he had ever laid eyes on. Of course she didn't really care about him, but he was sure that one day his tenacity would wear her down!

He moved to ask Sakura to join him, but when he jumped out of his seat his axe fell off the front of the desk. That could have ended badly if not for the fact that he was sitting above Shikamaru at the time. Anybody else would have had their head bashed open but Shikamaru's sleeping on his desk meant that the axe went behind him. In fact, he didn't even wake up even when Naruto dove behind him to retrieve the thing while the class laughed at his clumsiness.

Naruto was about to go try again when Iruka came in and started yelling at them to be quiet so he could start his speech. His speech was a time tested favorite full of wisdom and preaching the values of the Will of Fire. Naruto didn't hear a word of it as he imagined awesome battles with his new axe. In fact he only snapped out of it when he heard Iruka call his name for a team.

"Naruto Uzumaki, Sakura Haruno, and Sasuke Uchiha will be Team Seven."

"What?!" Naruto screamed, "Why do I have to be on a team with the bastard?"

"Sit down Naruto! Team selections are final! Now, as I was saying..." Iruka's voice seemed to fade away as Naruto zoned out, grumbling to himself about the unfairness of life. Sure, he had gotten Sakura on his team, but with the bastard there she probably would pay even less attention to him! _Maybe Shikamaru has the right idea. I probably would have been happier sleeping though this. Oh well, _he thought philosophically,_ it has to get better when my sensei gets here right?_

* * *

Three hours later

_Where the hell is this guy? Even when I'm trying to be late I'm never three hours late!_ Naruto was predictably pissed. In fact, his patience with the whole thing would probably have been exhausted fifteen minutes ago if he hadn't had his new awesome toy, _tool_, to play- err, train with. He was still on the verge of doing something fun and probably stupid when he heard someone coming. His hearing was confirmed when the door opened and a guy with gray hair came in.

"Ahh, you're the team?" the guy asked. "My first impression is... you're not worth my time. Meet me on the roof in five minutes." The genin stared at where their sensei had come in, insulted them, and left within a matter of seconds. They were beginning to wonder if this was the way their sensei was going to work all the time. And if it was, was it too late to request a transfer?

What they didn't know was that Kakashi was grumpy because he had been waiting for one of them to do something stupid. In fact he had had bets on which one would be the first to crack. The Hokage had forbidden him to be more than three hours late after his last team had decided to amuse themselves by lighting a fire in the classroom. It was the land of fire, but there were definite limits.

_Well, hopefully they'll be funny anyway._

* * *

_Oh well, at least I'll have fun tomorrow. _Between Naruto's idiocy, Sasuke's obsession, and Sakura's fangirl tendencies Kakashi was feeling pretty confident about them failing tomorrow.

The only real surprise for him had been the oversized wood chopper Naruto had brought along to the introductory meeting. Kakashi was actually slightly amused remembering the time Obito had brought a tetsubo to training.

_Ahh, torture genin, avoid real work and get paid to do it. This is the life!_

* * *

The next morning Team Seven arrived early, bright eyed and bushy-tailed for the test. By mid morning they were irritated at their sensei not showing up yet. By the time he actually showed up, Naruto and Sakura exploded.

"You're late!"

"Ah," Kakashi said mock-sheepishly, "I got lost on the road of life."

"LIAR!" Sakura screamed.

"Let's start shall we?" Kakashi bluntly ignored Sakura to start the test on time. His concept of "on time" anyway.

"Now, the goal for today is to get a bell from me," he said as he pulled two bells from the pouch at his side. "Anything goes, just get a bell by the time the alarm clock rings. IT is set for one hour from now so you'll have time to do pretty much anything." He clipped the bells to his belt with a flourish and set the clock on one of the three training posts in the clearing...

"But sensei, there are only two bells." Sakura stated, looking confused.

"Right you are! That's the fun part! Anybody who gets a bell gets to eat a bento," he grinned gesturing at the boxed lunches he had brought. "Anybody who doesn't get a bell will be tied to the training posts and have to watch as the others eat lunch. Then they'll be sent back to the academy! Don't you just love high stakes?"

"SO one of us is going to be sent back no matter what?" This time Naruto was the one to yell out the question.

"Sure seems that way." Kakashi's bland confirmation of their fears set the three on edge.

_I can't go back! This could be my last chance!_ Naruto thought.

_I have to get a bell! This is my next step to defeating my brother! _Sasuke frowned in determination.

_If I lose here, I can't be on a team with Sasuke! _Sakura's determination was immediately reinforced by Inner screaming** Yeah! We'll never lose Sasuke's love!**

Seeing that his genin were as ready as they were going to get Kakashi called, "Ready, set GO!"

With that the clearing burst into motion, the genin dashing into the bushes to conceal themselves, hoping for a chance to ambush their sensei. _Hmm, good textbook maneuvers and hiding spots. Reasonable concealment. For most of them anyway,_ he thought staring at the bright orange genin standing in front of him with his arms crossed.

"Naruto, you do realize that we've started right? Shouldn't you be hiding right now?"

"Nah," Naruto smirked, "all I have to do is beat you and grab the bells. Better get ready because here I come!"

_There's always one. _Naruto charged across the clearing without even bothering to unlimber his axe and launched a fist at Kakashi's face, hoping to lay the jonin out cold with one hit. It looked like Naruto's rush tactic might work for a second, but when his fist had almost connected Kakashi seemed to blur into motion. The next thing Naruto knew, he was face-down with Kakashi pinning him to the ground by way of a knee in the small of his back.

"If you want to even have a chance at these bells, you had better come with intent to kill!" Kakashi scolded. "I guess I can be merciful and give you another chance though. Don't waste it."

With that Kakashi seemed to blur again until he was standing in the middle of the clearing, waiting for the next challenge. "Fine," Naruto yelled, "this time I'm gonna blow you away!"

Naruto grinned and gathered chakra. When he felt he had enough, he flashed the sign and called "Kage Bunshin!" Suddenly the clearing was a sea of orange and yellow. Naruto smiled grimly before pulling his axe off his back and brandishing it threateningly, his clones doing the same behind him.

"Maa, very impressive Naruto." Kakashi narrowed his visible eye, "Maybe I should do something to even the odds a little."

Naruto tensed as Kakashi reached into his pouch. _He's pulling a weapon! _HE coiled himself in anticipation of dodging the kunai or shuriken, his muscles singing with tension. Suddenly Kakashi's hand blurred with speed as he whipped out... a book. Naruto face faulted as his sensei started reading and giggling. "What the heck, sensei? You're supposed to be fighting me!"

"I told you Naruto," Kakashi explained as he giggled again, "I'm evening the odds a little since you seem so serious!"

Naruto growled at the insult. "You asked for it!" He charged with all of his clones screaming as they came. "For the Horde!"

_Huh? I must have hit him a little too hard._ Kakashi watched closely as the crowd of Kage Bunshin closed in and started swinging. _ Hmm, the axe definitely extends his reach. It's pretty obvious where the attack is coming from, but his taijutsu isn't any better. I can't afford to let one hit me either since even a glancing blow would do some real damage. Fairly impressive that he has the strength to swing something like this around, and he doesn't seem to be slowing down, so he has decent endurance too. Now how about his tactics?_

Kakashi took the next opportunity to grab one of the clones and swing it around in front of the next blow, intending to use it as a combination shield and battering ram. He got a nasty surprise though when the shield clone grabbed his arm to try to stop him from moving while the other clone actually cut right through the first to try to hit him. A quick Kawarimi pulled him from danger and sacrificed yet another clone.

_No hesitation. That's... actually fairly impressive. Now let's see if I can't sow a little confusion! _With that thought he pulled a silent double Kawarimi to get into a nearby tree. The clones all looked at each other before each started accusing the others of being Kakashi in disguise. In fact it looked like they might actually take their axes to each other for a second before one (Naruto?) took charge. "Clones pop yourselves! Anybody left will get the axe!"

"Right!" With that all the clones popped into chakra smoke, obscuring the whole field. Kakashi smirked sadistically when he saw his chance to add a little extra humiliation to the debacle. A quick shushin had him crouched directly behind Naruto and in his ready position, book safely in his pouch.

The smoke cleared just enough to be sure of his target when he-

-jumped backwards to get out of the way of the axe aimed at his head!

His hasty retreat took him right into the path of another clone that he rapidly dispelled, but it slowed him enough for more clones to get into axe range, forcing him to fight and dodge harder than ever as the clones screamed "For the Horde!" around him.

By the time the smoke had cleared Kakashi was completely surrounded by aggressive (psychotic) clones. To his chagrin he had completely lost track of which one was the real one. Apparently, Naruto had used the smoke from the dispelled clones to make another army of them. It was actually fairly solid tactics, which Kakashi hadn't expected from the brat.

Honestly impressed by the tactics and ruthlessness being displayed by Naruto, Kakashi began to take things a little more seriously.

The next clone swung at him, but this time he didn't just dodge, he stabbed his fingers into its throat crushing its windpipe.

Suddenly the fight had gotten a lot more serious. Kakashi danced into the Kage Bunshin, dodging and killing with every step. He was on his tenth clone, about to kill it with a knuckle strike to the temple when his danger sense tingled.

With a move that would have snapped a civilian in half, Kakashi bent over parallel to the ground and watched as a kunai whistled past, right where his torso had been.

A liberal application of the tree-climbing exercise let Kakashi snap his body back up like a whip, driving two fingers into the eye-socket then brain of the clone in front of him.

Kakashi blinked as eight different clones attacked him at once.

Up until now, Naruto's clones had been attacking in twos or threes to give each other room to maneuver. Those attacking en masse now meant-

Crap. Suicide attack. His instincts screaming, Kakashi pulled a Kawarimi out of the clearing, not even bothering to put a clone in the way.

When he saw what the brat had done, he became _very_ glad he had moved. Behind the clones that had attacked, the rest of the clones had thrown enough kunai to look like a solid wall of black metal. Not all of the throws were on target, but that just meant he would have gotten hurt even if he tried to dodge.

_Right, _he thought, _that's enough of that._ While impressive, Naruto's tactics were dangerous to himself and everybody else around him, as demonstrated by the fact that half of his clones were popped by the kunai barrage he had just thrown.

His hands flashed through a long chain of signs, finally ending with him flaring his chakra.

The jutsu was a capture jutsu, designed by Kumo to take whole groups of bandits alive. The jutsu would hit someone, and then use their chakra to jump to the next person, recharging it as it went. In fact, it actually had two ways of putting someone down: first was the electricity coursing through them at the tune of 100k volts, then chakra exhaustion from the jutsu using you to energize itself.

The only reason it wasn't a truly feared jutsu was that anybody Chunin and up had the chakra control to stop it in its tracks with a simple kai.

Naruto did not.

For that matter, Naruto didn't have the control of an average genin, and his clones were very susceptible to damage.

Naruto fell to the ground, his entire body seizing from the energy that had hit it just a second before.

Sushining to his side, Kakashi tied his hands in such a way that he couldn't make any seals before shushining out of the clearing.

Sasuke stared at the clearing. That had been well beyond his expectations. To turn a clearing into a battlefield? To make his own army? What had the Dobe been learning? Sure, it had lacked finesse or any kind of overall strategy, but…

That kind of power might be what could take down his brother.

Sasuke twitched when he heard a scream. To be fair, that particular screech had some very bad memories attached to it from his Academy days.

So it may be understandable that instead of going to help his bubblegum teammate, he actually smiled a little and hoped whatever Kakashi had done was permanent. And painful.

Yes, he did realize he was a touch sociopathic.

No, he didn't actually care.

Sasuke saw Kakashi just miss getting perforated by one of his traps.

_This is going to be fun!_

* * *

He was right, Sasuke reflected. It had been fun.

Just not for him.

By the time it was over, Sasuke was bruised, sore, and buried up to his chin in the ground. After that the alarm clock had gone off and the mission had been over.

Then the final insult had been given. Kakashi had tied Naruto to one of the training posts.

Apparently, Kakashi thought Naruto was too dangerous with his hands free.

Sasuke shook his head as he looked down at his bento. Kakashi had tied up the only other member of their team that was useful.

If nothing else, Naruto was an awesome shield, while Sakura…

Useless was probably the kindest thing he could say about her.

Sasuke looked around carefully before interrupting one of his rants (Sasuke honestly couldn't tell which rant since he had tuned Naruto out when he started.) "Here," he offered, "eat something. We're going to need to be as strong as possible to beat Kakashi."

Naruto felt tears well up as first Sasuke then Sakura offered him some of their lunch.

He felt panic when he saw Kakashi loom behind Sasuke and Sakura.

"_**YOU BROKE THE RULES!" **_Kakashi hissed killing intent boiling off from him, _**"YOU ALL-"**_

"-pass!" He said brightly to his whimpering genin.

"Huh?" The look of dumbfounded confusion on Naruto's face made the whole thing worth it.

"This test was about team work. Honestly, all of you ignored at least one of your teammates at some point in the test."

"You," Kakashi said, staring at Naruto, "completely disregarded your team when you attacked me. If you had had even one of your team they could have stolen the bells while I was dealing with the clones." He leaned over the genin tied to the pole, "Don't do it again."

He whirled around as Naruto spluttered, trying to find a way to defend himself. "You," he loomed over Sakura in turn, "completely ignored Naruto, who was right in front of you, to try to find Sasuke. It would have taken you all of two seconds to free him."

He simply ignored her stuttering excuses while he turned toward Sasuke. "You, broody, were the worst of the lot. Not only did you disregard Naruto, I'm pretty sure you heard Sakura and ignored her too." _For that matter I'm not certain Suna didn't hear Sakura. _"The only reason I'm willing to give you a pass is you were the one to share."

Sasuke just stuck his hands in his pockets and scowled at his sensei's rebuke.

Shaking his head over the stubbornness of his genin, Kakashi finished his iconic speech, which he hoped would inspire his team toward greater teamwork.

In reality they just tuned him out.

Kakashi sighed internally as he saw his genin ignore him. Why couldn't kids listen like his ANBU?

He walked away from the grounds, Sasuke and Sakura following him, Naruto yelling in the background for them to untie him.

A flicker of motion caused him to smile. Sasuke might not be ready to show it in public, but at least he was willing to help his teammate get untied.

Maybe his team wasn't as hopeless as he thought.


End file.
